Bertorelli just made us sick
By The Prodigal Fool, published on 13 February 2009
Bertorelli is a small London chain of pseudo-Italian restaurants. Today, we had the misfortune to visit the City branch in Mincing Lane. Our advice to you is simple: please don’t do the same. In fact, please avoid this establishment as if your very soul depended on it.
That’s it; you don’t need to read on. That’s the only piece of important information we have to convey on the subject.
You want to know more? Really?
Well, firstly - and most importantly – the food is dire. During today’s lunch, The Guide sampled some asparago alla parmigiano (sic) which were so overcooked that our baby son would haved turned his nose up at them. The poor asparagus were also doused in what purported to be melted parmesan but was in fact closer – both in taste and consistency – to phlegm.
Our main course was a fillet of sea bass served with peas and pancetta. So far, so appetising, you’re no doubt thinking. Well, the vegetables were cooked in the same over zealous manner as our asparagus, but the real crime here was the fish itself. It smelt – no stank – of fish in the way that only seafood that was dragged out of the ocean many moons ago can. We’re still feeling sick just thinking of it: dry, smelly and pretty much unpleasant in every way a meal can be. Thankfully, the side order of new potatoes we’d ordered never materialised. No excuse was offered by the gormless staff for our missing potatoes and we certainly weren’t going to invite more torture by consumption by asking for them.
Which brings us neatly to the service. Amateurish would be a generous way of describing it because in fact it was much worse than that. The staff are singularly charmless. They have all the pretension that you sometimes encounter in places offering at least something to warrant airs and graces. But this place doesn’t even have that; they’re the worst kind of pretentious: without any reason for being so. They’re go-kart mechanics behaving like Formula 1 drivers.
And finally to the decor and atmosphere. Oh God, Bertorelli doesn’t deserve any more of our time or yours. Let’s just say that we’ve sat in Holiday Inn lobbies with more charm.
The final nail in this blood-sucking vampire of a restaurant’s coffin is that they don’t even have the decency to charge reasonable prices for the very mediocre experience on offer. Given the state of the world economy, there’s a lot of talk at the moment of how greed on the part of the financial services sector is basically at the root of many of the problems we’re currently living through. Well, this place is just as guilty. Its crazy prices bear no relation to the quality of its product, they’re simply a reflection of what the greedy management thinks it can get away with, with what their clientele – bankers on expense accounts with more money than taste – will pay for.
Avoid Bertorelli at all cost.
Bertorelli, 15 Mincing Lane, London EC3, Tel: +44 20 7283 3028
Bertorelli just made us sick
Bertorelli is a small London chain of pseudo-Italian restaurants. Today, we had the misfortune to visit the City branch in Mincing Lane. Our advice to you is simple: please don’t do the same. In fact, please avoid this establishment as if your very soul depended on it. That’s it; you don’t need to read on. [...]
A Prodigal 2009 reviewed: Happy New Year to you all « The Prodigal Guide
1 January 2010
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