Soak and spray: Champagne Party at the Ocean Club
By Straight-Six, published on 1 June 2010
Sometime between the fifth and sixth bottles of Veuve Cliquot, we directed our gaze at the group of Dutch pseudo-mobsters in the poolside bed across from ours. They’d been spraying each other with champagne for several hours now, along with the, ahem, ladies who’d screwed themselves to their posse. Hard, thirsty work indeed and it was time for a refill. One pot-bellied lout lent back and had one of the gals fill his flute before raising his hand to her right, ballooning breast and honking it as a token of thanks.
An action so offensive anywhere and anytime else could only be described as routine at the champagne party hosted by the Ocean Club in Marbella on the last Sunday of each of the summer months. This is excess that we certainly haven’t seen on such a scale for quite some time, and our two regular readers know that we’re not exactly prone to restrained, tempered behaviour or activities.
It all started with a friend suggesting that a few couples head off to Marbella for a weekend without the kids. Sea, sex and sun, as Gainsbourg said it best. With the odd killer meal thrown in for good measure. But the capper would be Sunday’s grand event: the champagne party at the palatial outdoor Ocean Club which really is as terrific and stylish as the images would have you believe.
Until, that is, you fill it to capacity with several hundreds Brits, six Dutch gangsters on a coke-binge and three couples who thought it would be nice to blow off steam, douse it in Veuve and let it rip for hours in the baking sun!
Every single party person stereotype (in varying degrees of sobriety ) paraded themselves up and down the poolside alley our white bed looked out on. Being a fan of EastEnders, we could best label them as Phil and Roxies, except the Phils were sporting Hublot Big Bangs and one vile iteration of Audemars Piguet Royal Oak Offshore after another. Christ, even the Daytonas on show appeared positively sedate.
Pretty boys, party boys, Paris Hilton-wannabees and porn star amateurs of both sexes were hell-bent on drowning our newfound global sobriety in a pool of Veuve followed by a shower of broken flutes to finish off the job properly. Speaking of which, we saw at least a dozen people being wheeled off in bandages after walking in broken glass which began to litter the poolsides and the pool itself (we fished a glass out of the pool personally…). Smart move that come 5 PM they stopped serving champers in glass flutes.
And the spraying? Dear Lord, the spraying was equally disgusting and entertaining. We never knew you could spray champagne in so many different ways. Witness Straight-Six‘s beloved who buried her head under a towel to protect her hair only to leave her tush exposed to the Dutch crew. Yes, a tush-spraying session ensued. And what started out as a great bubble-filled high with delicious food and fantastic service (grazie, Giorgio!) soon marched down the lane toward ultimate self-destruction. Turns out there’s only so much champagne we can drink before we really do make fools of ourselves.
So, are we glad we did it? Absolutely. Would we do it again? Definitely not. The Ocean Club in Marbella is a truly top open-air club that deserves recognition for what it is the other 29 days of the month. You know: when it’s not trying to drown its patrons in bubbly…
Cheers!
Ocean Club, Marbella, Avenida de Lola Flores, S/N, 29660 Marbella, Spain, Tel: +34 952 908 137
Soak and spray: Champagne Party at the Ocean Club
Sometime between the fifth and sixth bottles of Veuve Cliquot, we directed our gaze at the group of Dutch pseudo-mobsters in the poolside bed across from ours. They’d been spraying each other with champagne for several hours now, along with the, ahem, ladies who’d screwed themselves to their posse. Hard, thirsty work indeed and it [...]
13 Responses to “Soak and spray: Champagne Party at the Ocean Club”
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He’s on a fast-track to a quick divorce and years of alimony payments.
I’m not sure you really want his job Jerome!
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Rhiannon
2 June 2010
Hmmm, Katie Bunting told me to have a look at your post. Oddly reminds me of the horrendous American film, Couples Retreat which I (accidently) watched one Sunday morning with a hangover. Not recommended, as I see is your assessment of the Ocean Club. I took off to Cascais, Portugal, simple yet devoid of drunk Brits (well at least we were the only ones) and found OutJazz, a free open air Jazz rendezvous in a park West of central Lisboa, full of Portuguese locals sipping vinho verde. But good to see you’re living it up, always worth trying something once!
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Couples Retreat “horrendous”!? It’s one of Mrs Fool’s favourite films…
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Patito
2 June 2010
Looks fabulous but sounds awful!
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Straight-Six
3 June 2010
It’s one of those things you have to do once. and it starts out great, gets blurry toward the middle and downright nasty at the end.
But this is just the Champagne Party, folks. I can only imagine that on a regular day the Ocean Club is the finest outdoor club I have been to yet…
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Straight-Six
3 June 2010
Folks,
It turns out we were close, very close to true greatness at the Champagne Party:
And based on where he’s standing, I think he was within spraying distance of our bed. Oh yes…
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[...] proof? Then how about a debaucherous champagne party in Marbella, or spunking cash on an iPad in a house already filled with gadgets galore, or getting slippery when [...]
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You don’t always have to pay the piper: A year’s worth of free hotel nights « The Prodigal Guide
22 June 2010
[...] Eating our way across Madrid, buying up watch straps in Paris, wasting good Champagne in Marbella, or tearing up the motorways to Geneva… Yes, it’s fair to say that The Guide gets around a bit. [...]
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A Prodigal June « The Prodigal Guide
3 July 2010
[...] number 8 – Soak and spray: Champagne Party at the Ocean Club – In which Straight-Six takes some undeserved R&R at the Ocean Club in Marbella and [...]
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[...] Evidence? The Ayrton Senna and Maradona (Maradona!) special editions; the Mexican Football Federation and , lest we forget, the discretely named Million Dollar Big Bang. Hublot is in the World Cup, inside TIME magazine and on wide boys’ wrists at the Ocean Club in Marbella. [...]
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A Prodigal July « The Prodigal Guide
1 August 2010
[...] number 9 – Soak and spray: Champagne Party at the Ocean Club – In which Straight-Six takes some undeserved R&R at the Ocean Club in Marbella and [...]
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simo
26 October 2011
Hmmm nice place yes really great
Jerome Pineau
2 June 2010
Ok so Eric, where do I sign up for your job again?