Angsana Ihuru, Maldives: A user guide
By Ian Skellern, published on 26 February 2011
Parrotfish excreta, to put it politely for The Guide’s sole sophisticated reader. Fish shit to the rest of us. That’s what the pristine white-sand beaches of the world’s idyllic coral atolls are made of, including Angsana Ihuru in the Maldives from where I am typing this missive.
It’s a tough job The Prodigal Guide’s given me, but I’m not one to shirk responsibilities, especially when, in the middle of a European winter, The Fool sends me two first-class return tickets and asks me to spend two weeks fully paid (plus expenses) on a tropical island. Well, not exactly. I think what our editor in chief actually said was that he would fix me up when I got back . . . or was that “stitch me up”?
When it comes to holidays it’s horses for courses. Some like culture, others excitement; some like wild animals, others wild nightlife (not mutually exclusive); some like discovering new places, others the security of the familiar. But my Significant Other (SO) and I like small tropical islands, the smaller the better and with an excellent house reef for snorkelling off the beach. We’ve tried the Seychelles, Australia’s Barrier Reef, Mauritius and Madagascar, but it’s the Maldives we keep coming back to (this is our third time).
If you are planning on spending time on a coral atoll then the Maldives is the right place to do it, because the word atoll is actually derived from the Maldivian word, ‘atholhu’ (you might remember that for a side-splitting Knock-Knock joke).
And on paper – well, on the Kuoni website at least – Angsana Ihuru appeared to have exactly what we were after. Small? Just 43 bungalows and you can walk around the entire island in less than 10 minutes. House reef? Reportedly one of the best in the Maldives. Access? Only a 20-minute speedboat ride from Male airport.
Angsana Ihuru offers all that and more, though that should not have been a surprise as the island is run by the high-end Banyon Tree chain as a sort of a laid-back, unbranded alternative to the Banyon Tree Vabbinfaru, just a free five-minute boat ride away (there was a courtesy shuttle every couple of hours). But if you want organised activities during the day and entertainment at night, Angsana Ihuru is not for you, nor if you or you partner like dressing up for dinner (you can, but you shouldn’t)– if that’s you then one of the larger islands may suit you better. We didn’t wear shoes or anything else on our feet for our whole stay and the vast majority of guests did likewise.
You could really bring enough for a two-week stay on Angsana Ihuru in an aircraft carry-on bag. Good quality shower gel, shampoo, conditioner and moisturiser are all provided by the resort in more than ample quantities, as are a couple of universal power adapters (if you have a lot of things to plug in just bring a power board) and free snorkelling gear. You really only need to bring a few T-shirts, a couple of pairs of shorts and (plenty of) sunscreen . . . and, if you want a drink or two as well as the occasional massage – and you will – a healthy credit card for the final bill because alcoholic drinks are expensive (as they are all over the Maldives).
And don’t think you can get around that by stocking up on duty free: customs officials will take if off you at the airport and give it back when you leave.
All rooms are air-conditioned with an open air (private) bathroom and a balcony overlooking the beach with your own deck chairs and swing seat. There is no internet or WiFi in the rooms, but there is slow – at times very slow – WiFi in the bar and lounge. The internet connection is good enough for those who feel they must stay in touch, but slow enough to discourage serious work – perfect really.
I grew up scuba diving on the Great Barrier Reef and it spoilt me because, when I started travelling, I found that most of the rest of the world’s best dive spots were not as good as I had hoped/expected. The Maldives, though, does not disappoint: it is virtually world class nearly anywhere you jump off the dive boat. And the great thing is, if you choose your resort carefully (ie, excellent house reef) you do not have to dive (unless you want to). The coral and fish life circumnavigating Angsana Ihuru – and it takes less than an hour to snorkel right around the reef at the right time of the tide – are excellent.
One of the numerous advantages of a 360° house reef is that in times of strong wind/choppy water on one side, its just a few minutes walk to calm clear water on the other side. Another advantage is the relatively long reef wall compared to the size of the island/number of guests.
The sheer quantity and variety of colourful reef fish was superb. We saw small (around one metre) white and black-tipped reef sharks most days as well as turtles, crayfish, dolphins, lion fish, stingrays and manta rays, shimmering flocks of blue trigger fish, porcupine hovering solo in the deep, clown fish looking like they’d swum straight from the set of Finding Nemo, and many species of white-beach-forming, constantly-eating-coral-and-shitting-fine-sand parrotfish.
One parrotfish can produce/excrete half a tonne of sand per year, which surely means they have the cleanest colons on earth!
When snorkelling on a reef, listen. That chirping, constant staccato you hear is the sound of the reef being eaten (then digested, and…)
None of the fish or turtles had the slightest fear of splashing humans in their midst; in fact, the only sea life that usually kept a wary distance were the sharks, and for the majority of land dwellers that’s probably no bad thing. While the sharks around Angsana are (relatively) small and harmless, you can go over to Vabbinfaru in the evening and watch largish nurse sharks gather under the lights of the jetty – though you may enjoy the water more if you do that on your last night. The stingray feeding on the beach of Vabbinfaru is also well worth the trip.
But as well as a comfortable place to sleep and a sensational reef, there is one more thing you need if staying on a tiny island for a fortnight: a changing variety of excellent food. To enjoy 14 days eating in one restaurant, the food (and service) has to be good; Angsana didn’t disappoint in this department, nor in the wine selection which was excellent. While breakfast and lunch were buffet style, dinner alternated between buffet and à la carte so there was never any monotony.
And there were always plenty of fresh fish dishes, which is not always the case as many resorts cater too much to what they think their guests eat at home rather than offering good local fare. And if you do feel like a change of scenery and gastronomic experience, for a reasonable surcharge you can make a special occasion of it, dress up (optional) and have dinner on Vabbinfaru, which is a little more upmarket.
Something else that made Angsana so pleasurable was that, while many of the Maldivian resorts appear to have been colonised by one predominant country, meal times there murmured with the voices of English, Italian, German, Russian, Japanese, American, Chinese and Swiss visitors. And Angsana has yet another trump card up its thalassic sleeve: a Banyon Tree spa, and it is absolute heaven on earth. We arranged a customised programme (something they should offer as a matter of course) of one-and-a-half to two-hour treatments every other day and I don’t think it is humanly possible to be more relaxed while still breathing.
As you may have already inferred, I like Angsana Ihuru.
Now, all that remains for me to do is put my expense report in order for The Fool’s signature when I get back and just wait for a cheque in the post.
p.s. Two rules to bear in mind on a tropical island holiday:
1. Don’t get burnt and…
2. When it comes to holiday reading on the beach, leave the iPad at home because Kindles rule in the sun!
Angsana Ihuru, Maldives: A user guide
Our man in Switzerland, Ian Skellern, has upped sticks and taken himself off to a tropical island in the Maldives. From there, with uncharacteristic smugness, he reports on how much better his life is to ours. Or yours.
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15 Responses to “Angsana Ihuru, Maldives: A user guide”
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Ian Skellern
26 February 2011
I’m still totalling my expenses, but they seem to go on and on and on. I spent a fortune on sunset cocktails before finding that the Martini glass reflected the light just so. I’ll stop at nothing to get those little details just right. Where to next?
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I hear Skegness is nice.
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Ah, guys where do I sign up here?? I won’t even ask what Ian did to deserve the 2 tix
I just want to point out I am _very_ familiar with the BVI 
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Fish poop or no fish poop, obviously was a fabulous jaunt away from the Confederation Helvetica. Where do I book the massage?
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The massage is extra and definitely not covered by our expenses policy.
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Personally, I am shocked, shocked to hear that such shenanigans are going on in this establishment!
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Ivan Y
28 February 2011
I need a gig where I can claim vacations… err, “research trips” as business expenses!
P.S. Someone actually has Kindle DX?!?!
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Chris I
1 March 2011
For giggles I looked up flight prices from Boston. Between $1200 and zillion depending on dates and class. Not too much more than other less exotic places. Might need to add this to the list.
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Jack
21 May 2011
Seriously… How does one get a gig like this?
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Ian Skellern
17 June 2011
Another (or at least one) happy customer for The Prodigal Guide.
Dear Ian,
We have just returned from a wonderful snorkelling holiday in Angsana Ihuru. Once again, thank you for your advice which made all the difference; I would say that we would not have chosen Angsana Ihuru if not for your article and email.
Regards, Meng
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Can we charge a referral fee!?
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Straight Up
28 July 2011
Ian, thank you for this informative report. Glad to see that sacrifices are still made in the name of honest work. I have ways been told that if you go to the Maldives you must love one of two things diving or your partner as there is little else to do. I have recently returned from Madagascar and I am off to the Seychelles in September. I will look into the Maldives for the next jaunt. Luckily, I do love diving.
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Ian Skellern
28 July 2011
Thank you Straight Up, I love both so the Maldives is perfect. We spent a couple of weeks on Nosy Iranja, which is an island off Nosy Be, Madagascar, a few years ago and loved that, although it was a bit of a trip getting there.
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STRAIGHT UP
29 July 2011
Ian, yes, I do agree Madagascar is a bit of a ways away. I always try to avoid the beaten path and especially the tourists if I can. So, I decided on the other side of Madagascar to Ile aux Nautes off Ile St. Marie. After a 12 hour flight, 12 hours by road, 1 hour fast ferry and 20 min. via dug out canoe, paradise was found. I would still like to go Nosy Be as I heard there is diving with Orcas. If you have any suggestions for the Seychelles or Palau, I would appreciate them. Looking forward to your next impossible assignment.
Straight-Six
26 February 2011
We pay Uncle Ian far too much. Far too bloody much!!
Pics good enough to make me salivate…