Mice and men, grape and vine, grit and grime: the Total 24 Hours of Spa
By Straight-Six, published on 5 August 2011
Do you really want to know how your editors found themselves in a sumptuous hospitality tent guzzling bubbly and ogling pert Czech derrieres as the Total 24 Hours of Spa spat flames, farted exhaust fumes and roared on around them? Well then, boys and girls, we’ll tell you…
It began with a tweet from a lady called Lauren; arguably the single hottest chick in the Western Hemisphere. And a great car thief to boot.
The Fool and Straight-Six were at Baselworld in a vain attempt to establish their blogging credentials with the world’s leading watch brands. That they ended up sauced on the Zenith stand, with the Fool leching over CEO Dufour’s hair and Straight-Six consuming everything he could lay his hands on (including Tim Tomato’s assistant…), reveals their total inability to put business before pleasure. Same shit, different day.
But there was a lone, flirtatious voice that called out to them from the drunken sparkle and dazzle of Baselworld: Lauren’s.
Invited to the jewellery area of the expo, they were introduced to a watch brand and its rather off-putting diamond-encrusted pieces. “Foul!’, your editors shouted, wiping away their tears while consuming yet more bubbly. But, to quote Steve Jobs: “you can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards.”
And so it was that this initial contact lead the Guide to an overcast July day in the heart of Wallonia (that’s in Belgium, for all you Limeys and Yanks…) for what is the world’s second oldest 24 hours race at one of the world’s finest tracks: Spa Francorchamps. But the Guide wouldn’t stop there. We were also going to be able to sit down and interview a man who has been driving the hell out of most race cars and categories out there for, well, decades. A Swedish lion who raced for Ferrari in F1 under one Enzo Ferrari, if you please. His name? Stefan Johansson…
Let’s be clear: this isn’t a detailed breakdown of each segment of the race or who wore down their tires faster, or took Eau Rouge the quickest. In pure Prodigal fashion, we wanted to tease you with snippets of what we observed ahead of next week’s big event when we sit down, and in an exclusive Talking Hands interview, talk cars and watches with the mighty Johansson.
As guests of United Autosports, a unique Anglo-American outfit that fielded three cars and no less than 12 drivers, we had much to tuck into: access to the paddock where the real heroes operate, the sumptuous hospitality tent where Czech beauties served a most useful purpose while much grape was consumed and the unbridled joy of being literally metres away from the track as the thunderous steeds attacked each corner of the track again and again.
Created in 2009, United Autosports is co-owned by American Zak Brown and Briton Richard Dean and fields GT3 class Audi R8 LMS sports cars. The latter weigh a mere 1,300 kg, sport a V10 5.2-litre engine with some 500 horsepower, rear-wheel-drive and carbon-fibre composite/aluminium bodywork. Serious stuff indeed.
But beyond the hard porn metal, what surprised us was the overall laid back feel of a 24 hour race such as this.
The pit stops were nothing like the split second affairs of an F1 race. Precise and intent on their respective tasks, the mechanics and drivers moved in a sparing, almost restrained manner, aware their energy had to last them a full 24 hours. Indeed, it’s this reality which impressed us the most. For when was the last time any of us did anyting for a full 24 hours straight that requires this level of concentration and physical effort? Respect due.
Watching drivers exchange places, tires replaced, fuel poured into thirsty tanks and broken parts patched up or replaced, you find yourself musing that this is a veritable trance. A grueling, trance-induced dance that breaks man and machine down to their very essence. Yes, there is nowhere to hide under the weight and pressure of those 24 hours as they pound all involved again and again.
Lord knows, your trusty editors felt mightly pounded by the time they gathered their things and stumbled out from the United Autosport hospitality tent. Before driving off into the night, we watched from a hilltop as Porsches, Lamborghinis, McLarens, Ferraris, Audis and many others roared and whistled to a crawl before the infamous La Source hairpin, their brakes glowing red in the dimming light. We were hypnotised by the scene, the millimetre-precise driving and the sheer balls it takes to even embark on an odyssey such as this.
And so, what happened when the chequered flag was finally waved?
Well, United Autosports achieved hard-earned 13th and 19th overall placings – sixth and eighth in the Pro-Am category – in the 63rd running of the Total 24 Hours of Spa which was won by Audi.
The #23 Zak Brown (USA)/Richard Dean (GB)/Johnny Herbert (GB)/Stefan Johansson (SE) and “sister” #12 Audi of Alain Li (F)/Arie Luyendyk (NL)/Richard Meins (GB)/Henri Richard (F) went on to register 13th and 19th places overall – the Audi Sport official “customer” team’s #23 Audi creditably being the third highest R8 LMS at the finish. Unfortunately the #11 Audi of Matt Bell (GB)/Mark Blundell (GB)/Eddie Cheever (USA)/Mark Patterson (USA) retired on Saturday evening.
Meanwhile, your editors retired at 0300 on Sunday morning only to awake three hours later to drop-kick the Fool on a flight back to London. While credibly broken, our efforts at self-destruction pale in comparison to the stamina and courage displayed by the drivers and teams that this year took on the mighty Spa race track. We salute you. And don’t forget to invite us back next year!
Tune in next week for our two-part interview with Swedish racing legend Stefan Johansson.
Mice and men, grape and vine, grit and grime: the Total 24 Hours of Spa
Do you really want to know how your editors found themselves in a sumptuous hospitality tent guzzling bubbly and ogling pert Czech derrieres as the Total 24 Hours of Spa spat flames, farted exhaust fumes and roared on around them? Well then, boys and girls, we’ll tell you…
