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‘Ninhoooo!’ How racers slip n’ slide sadistic with significant others

By on 26 October 2012 in Cars

‘Ninhoooo!’ How racers slip n’ slide sadistic with significant others
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We’re not entirely sure we’ve yet figured out exactly what separates sadism from full-on mockery.

Although we may recall a primary-school classmate who threatened us with physical violence after we’d ridiculed his clothes during biology class, we’re not sure we can link this to his future career as a mental asylum inmate. In other words, just how fine is the line between making all of us laugh, and making them cry…?

It was back in 2002 that Six took his soon-to-be wife on a driving event at the holy Green Hell. That’s the Nordschleife for those who don’t know. Organised by a former German rally champ, some 10 cars were to discreetly convey around the Ring as the instructor gave us directions over the walkie-talkies. At least, that was the idea.

As luck would have it, Six’s poor wife found herself separated from the convey and facing her first-ever lap of a circuit (as driver or passenger) with two Porsche GT2s bearing down on her at full throttle. She started to whimper, then cry, before shouting at Six to do something. By some miracle, Six managed to talk her through the next 20 km, or so, telling her when to pull to the right and where the turns were. Finnish pragmatism kicked in and the two managed to complete the lap without further verbal, or physical, violence.

Incredibly, Six’s wife agreed to be taken out again by the instructor and was so reassured by his ability that subsequent laps with Six found her cooing: “Smoother is faster, honey. Be smooth…!”

This said, that marked the last time Six’s wife ever accompanied him on the track.

Fast forward to something BMW Motorsport put together last month, gently entitled “Journey into the Green.” You’ll notice they left out the key word: Hell. Perhaps to better convince the darling wife of one Augusto Farfus, a BMW DTM driver, to actually agree to get into an M3 for a single lap of the Nordschleife with her talented, vibrant and giggling husband.

We’ll let the video do the talking (scroll down to the end of the post), but believe the following Farfus quotes of excellence to be worthwhile. You’ll no doubt discern who’s saying what:

“You promised you’d drive slowly!”

“Please, Ninho, don’t jump! Don’t jump!”

“I’m not driving fast – only at 250 kph”

“Ninho, I’m frightened! I think I’m going to die!”

Now, so much for the cute tales of fear and reconciliation. The next video moves into a more mature, harder-edged space, one where the couple has clearly spent more time together and some of the fluff and good will has already disappeared.

How can we possibly know this? Well, spend some time listening/reading what the dear spouse of Ricardo Patrese tells him as he drives here, hard, around a circuit in a Honda Civic Type-R. Indeed, it’s only at the end that Ricardo reveals the entire drive has been recorded and laughter erupts. And a visit to the ladies, no doubt.

Here are some of the sterner highlights:

“I just had polenta with stew…it’s coming up!”

“I got children at home waiting for their mommy.”

“Please…go FUCK yourself!”

Enjoy both videos, and spare a thought for those significant others who’ve been made to suffer in this delightful manner…


‘Ninhoooo!’ How racers slip n’ slide sadistic with significant others

Six once put his wife in the driver’s seat and let her loose at the Ring. She cried, slapped him and never went on the track ever again. Turns our some of the world’s great drivers like to do exactly the same thing. Watch, cringe and roar with sadistic laughter…

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Straight-Six had a proper job as a journalist for Dow Jones before lowering himself gently into the warm, forgiving waters of The Guide. He’s our resident fanatic: he relished detailing his BMW M3 for two full days at a time before crashing it at Eau Rouge in the wet; he spends insane amounts on his home-cinema system and has thrown tens of thousands of euros at vintage Rolex sports watches. The little fool simply does not understand the concept of restraint or the meaning of excess. He also – following a legendary "heavy" lunch – once nibbled (yes, like little dogs do) a dear lady friend of ours.

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  • Belligero

    It’s great how the men are stone cold chillin’ the entire time. The ladies end up proving to be good sports, though!

  • Straight-Six

    The way Augusto giggles, clearly linked to the crap he’s telling his wife, has me in stitches the entire time.

    You’re right: both lovely ladies end up getting the joke. We hope…:)